even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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