This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize