halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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