Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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