If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He keeps bees of course he's weird
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
