I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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