Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
