I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
