My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
