i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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