Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
