Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
