i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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