Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

You can't special order awesome

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(817): View more from Texas

New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.

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(239): View more from Florida

dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.

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(440): View more from Ohio

somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me

(310): View more from California

maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA

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(940): View more from Texas

Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers

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(815): View more from Illinois

You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?

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(510): View more from California

The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.

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