I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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