I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize