There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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