So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He has the fingertips of a God
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