I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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