Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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