Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
wow bdsm is so cute
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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