Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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