ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
