Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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