broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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