operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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