Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We were destined to go to rehab together
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
