Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
