What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
