Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
