This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
