it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
