Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have already put on my inside pants.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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