a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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