I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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