Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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