Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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