i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
