8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Vodka?
Forever.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
