You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
