ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
This house was built for laser tag.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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