as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I deserve this hangover.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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