so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
