did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize