OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
