proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
smell my finger.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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