You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
