Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Non-Jews are for practice
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
