wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
