If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just gargled with NyQuil
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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