She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
