And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
