he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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