are you still at the devil's house?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
