can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
