so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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