It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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