Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
