I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
