yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Someone shattered a urinal.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
