I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
