After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
