...so i touched it.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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