Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
