I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
